And Then They Made Me Their Chief
by Salienne de Lioncourt
Summary: This is just my take on whatthe WONDROUS tale Jack must have cooked up to tell the two lobsters at Port Royale. (PG just to be safe.)


"Ah, unless he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to you." The two brilliant gent's exchanged looks, and then the slightly heavyset one, really would help to know their names, as Jack couldn't refer to them directly without them, motioned with his gun for Jack to move farther away from the wheel and sit down.

"Get the Commodre," he told his friend, who didn't' seem _quite_ as bright, but would sure be able to do that.

"Well, are you sure you'd want to be doin' that, mate? Ye haven't heard my side of it, after all," he interrupted, raising his hands before him in a weak defense as a gun was pointed threateningly at him again.

"We don't _need_ to hear your story, mate. Just get over there and sit, hands where I can see 'em!"

"Yeah, no funny moves!" the lanky one agreed.

Jack nodded obligingly and moved back slowly, sitting down where he was ordered to. 

"Well, what are you waiting for?" the one who had spoken originally kept up, "Go get someone!"

"If I may-"

"What is it?" he demanded, gun swiveling again.

"Well, don't you at least want to know who it is you've caught?" He raised an eyebrow. "Might be someone important, after all."

The two guards exchanged looks. "All right, fine. Who are you?"

Jack made to stand up, saw the firearm move again, sat back down, and spread his arms, grinning. "I'm Captain Jack Sparrow."

A long moment of silence followed, as the two exchanged glances once again. Jack watched them carefully, calculating in his mind what type of tale to tell these two. Something riveting. Something to keep him from the gallows.

"See, he's lyin' again!" Mr. Skinny exclaimed, gun poised and ready. Jack arched an eyebrow.

"_The_ Captain Jack Sparrow? The one who did _all_ that?" Mr. Heavyset pressed, more or less ignoring his friend.

"The one and only," Jack replied.

"Prove it," Mr. Heavyset said warily.

Jack moved his head back on his shoulders, and motioned with his arms. "Well, what do you want to hear as proof, mates? How about…" he moved in close for this, and his very charisma and attitude caused the two soldiers to do the same. "How about a never before heard adventure of Captain Jack Sparrow, how he escaped from an island he got marooned on by a navy of the king's men?"

"How do we know if it's genuine?" the same guard questioned.

"How do we know you're not just trickin' us?" Mr. Skinny added.

"Use yer minds, boys. Think, could _anyone_ fabricate such?" 

It took a moment, but eventually they nodded. "Go on."

Jack smile, a smile that looked more than a little evil, and put his hands together beneath his chin. This was going to be ve-ery interesting. Perhaps he could use this particular story on Tortuga next. Should impress Scarlet and Giselle and Hannah and Alice and all the other fine ladies there no doubt.

"Well, ye see, out there, in the ocean,"(Motioning to the ocean)"There's many secluded isles, many cays, and out there, bloody mysterious is what some of it is. One day, I was sailin' by me onesies, on my way to the next dock-"

"Why were you by yerself?" Mr. Heavyset cut in. 

Jack let out a sigh of exasperation, and turned to look at him. "I felt like a vacation. Plundering and pillaging the same areas constantly can get quite dull, you know, albeit only for a _little_ while." Since the guard appeared satisfied, Jack continued. "Well, there I was, minding me own business, when out of nowhere comes the King's Royal Navy, and they're comin' straight for me! Well I, I wasn't doing anything wrong, of course, but imagine all those ships! Turning me boat, I managed to get to an island of some significant size situated nearby, ones I never once saw before and probably never will again, and hid there, getting out of my boat and behind some trees. And they didn't see me either! Imagine my luck. Must have somehow drifted away from their course.

"It was later, though, I realized that my boat was gone! Disappeared just like that! Aye, but then, that's when I found the hidden door."

"Hidden door?"

"Aye. A trapdoor, right there in the sand. O' course I opened it up, and underneath, a long, deep tunnel. Going down, it was dark, and moist, like a cave, eh? Going through, it just got darker and darker. Couldn't see an inch from mine eyes. Finally, though, I got to this large chamber, a lighted cavern. There were torches all along the walls, GOLD interlaid into the very walls, and inside, natives of the island, all kneeling and praying to a wooden carving up against the cavern wall. Ya see mates…" And he leaned in real close for this part of it, causing the atmosphere to become just that much more mysterious and exciting. Mr.'s Skinny and heavyset almost had their guard down to entirety, also, and were sitting now, completely enrapt. Gullible, these two were, but Jack couldn't help but admit how much he was enjoying this. "I'd stumbled into the meeting place of none other than the dreaded Natives of the Amazonia Forum!" Both of the two soldiers, who had absolutely no idea what that meant, were deeply impressed.

"Everything stopped when I entered, all of them only wearing coconuts for clothing, and I was seized from behind by two bulky men, really strong, powerful-like. What they didn't know, though, was that I'd met their leader once before, and we were sworn enemies, him and me. He tried to have me executed, mates, if you can believe it, but I knew enough of their language from having heard it that one time before to be able to challenge him to a duel. Couldn't back down from it, you see, not in front of his tribe. Lose face in front of the women, and lose respect amongst the men. Can ye guess what happened next?"

"Ye beat him?" the skinny one guessed meekly.

"Correct!" Jack yelled out loudly, throwing up his hands, and then settling back down near the two again. "And what happened next, you ask? The old leader's body was taken outside to be burned, apparently my boat had been taken as a sort of offering to their wooden token, but then, that's when it really started. First, we burned the body, with the proper ceremony of course, and it burned bright violet! All of them began to scream and holler until a powerful magician came out and pronounced me their new god. First, they presented me with countless pure gold amulets and tokens, and then… and then, they made me their chief!"

All of a sudden, the three of them were interrupted by a very loud, distinguishable splash near the rocks.


End file.
